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Damn right. Back in the real world though, I’m still broke and Santa Claus is not about to leave me a PC under the tree. I’ve been naughty (remember the affair?), and you can’t make up for four years of naughty with six months of nice. Since my parents did not and still do not believe in computers, there was no need in trying to convince them that one would make a really good birthday or Christmas present. My parents believe in practical gifts, so much so that I got a vacuum cleaner for my birthday two years in a row. Everybody in the room stole glances at each other when I opened the second one, but nobody said a word. Maybe the rest of my family just thought I was really, really dirty and had worn the first one out already. Arrggghhhh… so how do I get a computer, write the great American novel, or at least a sleazy bestseller, and secure my family’s future financially? Either God thought I was deserving or Satan tempted me or a local finance company was just desperate for suckers. Sometimes, ‘n my mind, I pretend like I’s Eve ‘n he’s Adam like in da Garden a Edun ‘cepin Massa say ain’t no niggers in da bible. I don’t be carin’. Sometimes, I closes my eyes ‘n sees us runnin’ around all free ‘n happy like. I’s scurred o’ snakes sumtin fierce in real life so I don’t eat dat dang apple in my mind’s eye, we’s just be free ‘n happy . . . free ‘n happy. See, me ‘n Adam was runnin’ fo freedom when da catcha’s dun snatched us up in some place called Louisville. Folks say we wuz almost to freedom iffin we wasn’t catched. T’was my fault we got catched. I had my moon flow ‘n we was in de woods ‘n I didn’t have no cotton to swab up de blood so we jest walk ‘n walk ‘n walk most de night ‘n durin’ de day we hide. All de time we wuz walkin’, I was leavin’ a trail for dem ole dogs to follow. Adam dun tried to carry me but he was too tired from walkin’ all dem nights. I tole him to leave me be and go on but he wouldn’t. Dem ole hounds caught de smell o’ my blood ‘n tracked us.
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